week four + five

time is passing so fast and by so fast, i mean faster than its ever moved in my life! in the blink of an eye, my little girl is already one month old!

during the past week and half, i feel like we've learned a lot more about each other and we as parents are learning a whole lot more about how to raise an infant. i wouldn't say we have a "routine" because we don't, i just feed her on demand and she sleeps whenever she sleeps for as long as she wants (which i know some might disagree with) but right now, that's what we are doing. she's like a clock - she sleeps generally for 2 hours throughout the day and night, with maybe one long stretch of 3 hours in the late afternoon/evening. (she actually slept almost 4 hours in josh's arms last night though!) but we've learned that (1) she loves to be held and sleep in someone's arms (2) she loves all things warm and fuzzy, aka plush blankets, warm towels, etc., (3) she likes to go bathroom while we are in the middle of changing her diapers, keeping us ever alert and on our toes when changing her even in the middle of the night (4) she loves to comfort nurse (which means falling asleep while breastfeeding) which apparently is a bad habit, but she's an infant! (which is my "excuse" perhaps for a lot of her "bad habits"). also, we learned she absolutely loves her fisher price swing (not the expensive mamaroo we got her, which is slowly collecting dust in the corner, sigh)! its a miracle worker i tell you - it frees up sometime for me in the mornings and daytime where i can actually brush my teeth, go bathroom, wash my face, and eat!

living in these 2 hours increments always presents a dilemma for me during the day - should i sleep since i only got 2-3 hours total in sleep last night? or, should i actually "live life" aka check my emails, browse internet, find out what's going on in the "real world" out there, shop online for baby things that she might need, blog.. and then there's the dishes, bottles that need to be cleaned, laundry, dogs.. so needless to say, this is why my day passes by so quickly and tiredly. how lucky i will feel when she finally sleeps for 4-5 hours at night! i think i'll truly feel like a new person.

everyone says that at 6 weeks (some say 8 weeks but i'm hoping 6), things will get a lot better and she will start sleeping at night longer, but that probably means that she will be sleeping during the day less and that i will need to "play" and keep her engaged more during the day - but hopefully, the 4-5 hours of sleep that i will hopefully be getting will give me enough energy!

in other news, i've started pumping with the medela electric pump and i've been fortunate to have a good supply and flow of milk, apparently me pumping out around 3-4 oz in 5 minutes (which has been generally how long i pump) is really good! that's a relief though, because i don't really like spending my "free time" attached to this machine anyways. i started pumping so maybe my mom or josh could bottle feed shiloh maybe once a day to relieve me, but i've realized that maybe inside, even that i can't fully let go (at this point anyhow). i stay awake and watch her as she's being bottle-fed - therefore defeating the whole purpose of me sleeping or doing something else during that time, but i can't help but not want to let her out of my sight and to make sure she's not choking or uncomfortable while getting bottle fed. perhaps call it the "mom" in me already that can't let her go. sigh, how am i ever going to send her to school one day? eek.

at the doctor's visit for her one month check-up, she was 10 lbs and 5 oz (around 80% percentile) and 23 inches (99% percentile), our pediatrician was like "Wow! She's tall!" Hmm, i wonder where she got those genes from (not me or josh) or, it could be a momentary growth spurt as she has, been eating around the clock every 1.5-2 hours for the last month...

as far as me, i feel so much better one month postpartum, and i even was brave enough to weigh myself last week to find i lost 22 lbs thus far! i still have around 14-15 lbs to go back to my pre-pregnnacy weight though but i'm not in a rush - nor can i be as even though i feel better (like 85%), I'm nowhere at the point where i can run or even walk for a long time, much less workout. yesterday we walked a bit at the doctor's appt and also carried her around in her heavy car seat (we forgot the stroller), and i'm feeling quite sore today..